Three Reasons I'm Grateful
I can’t thank you all enough for following me here and sharing this space with me. I've been a therapist since I was eighteen… just kidding…but I did major in psychology, which is funny to me because I recently learned that a lot of people choose that when they don’t know what they want to do. Anyway, I’ve been trying to find the courage to be more open and more vulnerable because my story might help someone and encourage other therapists to keep going in an intentional, healing way.
It’s scary to think about sharing my story, because, as a therapist, I was trained to use self disclosure minimally and I believe some of us might use this wall to hide behind like a cloak of invisibility , so that we don’t have to be vulnerable. I’ve found the opposite to be more true. When I self disclose, my clients are able to see me as human, an imperfect therapist, who has shared some of the same struggles and pain as them. I remember being in a session with a client who was distraught, in tears, and on the brink of divorce. In that moment, I shared about my divorce after twenty years of marriage and she incredulously asked “were you a therapist then”? I answered, “yes girl, I was a hot mess” 😂😂 As therapists, I know from personal experience, we don’t have it all together and we don’t have to, but that also means we are still valuable and can still do great work with our clients.
So, I’m grateful for my failures & the times I didn’t get it right.
The three times and fifteen years it took to finally make it in private practice. The in between times when I wanted to run away and go back to a “real” job with good benefits, and because I had children to support, I did that too. But dreams die hard, and each time I took a break from private practice, I used it to build clinical skills and to learn all I could from the lessons of failure. It’s cliche to say I wouldn’t change a thing, because if I could, I most certainly would, but that’s a story for another day. LOL!
I’m grateful for my clients.
The ones who showed up after having been to other therapists, yet still felt like there was more work to do, as if there was something they couldn’t quite put their finger on. Who am I to have been chosen to sit across from them, to hold space in ways that allow for deep vulnerability, leading to new insights, self awareness, connection and healing? Their stories, courage and transparency deeply trigger my gratefulness. How many of us, as therapists, can say we’ve been there, sitting on the couch, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable? If you haven’t yet, or maybe it’s been a while, find someone who can help you with the story your trauma is telling, someone who can help you see into your blind spots. Since 2020, this has been the longest two years ever, and we deserve healing, not just for our clients, but for ourselves first.
I’m grateful for Empty Nesting.
PeriodT. Woo hoo, mamma we made it! On the last day of his junior year in high school, my oldest son, Trey, jumped out of his car and enthusiastically announced “mom, I'm officially a senior!” To which, I responded with a sad face and fake (real) tears. He quickly gathered me and told me “ I don’t know why you’re sad, you should be happy for me.” He couldn’t have been more right. It was a time for celebration and realization that we, my ex-husband and I, had produced an amazing human being who would soon be prepared to fly. Talk about a mindset shift! It certainly didn’t happen overnight, but now, I’m fully embracing this time of my life. Watching my boys grow into men is magical. It’s not without its challenges, but really, to watch them create their own lives is quite a blessing. As the saying goes, “the days are long, and the years are short.” If you’re still a parenting therapist, that’s all the more reason to take time for yourself so you can be more present for your babies. We give so much to everyone else, sometimes it can be hard to imagine a time when parenting as you know it is over. What will you do when you become an empty nester? It’s never too early to start thinking about it, lest you be gathered the way I was. LOL!
I also have a wonderful family and supportive friends to be grateful for, and I count it all joy! We’re all familiar with gratitude lists, but have you ever thought about writing a gratitude letter? What are you grateful for and what are some of the ways you practice staying connected?
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